Being available every minute of the day is not a competitive advantage
Lisa Nichols remarked once that she used to let men treat her poorly. She lacked a powerful sense of Self and feared rejection, should she speak up for herself and her own needs.
She perceived herself as open and giving and wondered why she so often found herself taken advantage of.
Her troubles began melting away when she began to set boundaries. Lisa describes the shift in her thinking: “I’m supposed to show up understanding my greatness and allow you to celebrate it with me…I’m the example; I’m the first example how the world’s supposed to love me, and I have to give them the best example ever.”
I see sales professionals make this same mistake.
They think it’s a badge of honor to essentially be open 24/7, available at any hour of the day to help and support their clients. Sometimes, they tout this as a competitive advantage, something that separates them from their competitors.
I was talking with one real estate agent who said that it was when she started working as an employee for someone else and only working part-time (primarily by referral) that her clients began to respect her and her time.
The reason?
She now had clearly-established boundaries that she communicated. She could say with confidence that she was only available certain hours of the day when she wasn’t working or sleeping. Clients honored that.
When she worked full-time as an agent, she reported that she was at her clients’ beck and call, every single day and every single hour of the day.
In her words, “People would actually get mad if I didn’t call them back right away; they’d get offended. They’re like ‘I called you like two hours ago,’ and I’m like, I can’t believe this. I just talked to them at midnight!”
I almost laughed it was so ridiculous when the agent said, “And If I do want a vacation and will be gone like 4 days or a week, they’re like ‘What about my house?! You can’t leave! What about this? What about that?’ ”
The change that appeared to come over her clients when she got a full-time job in addition to her real estate business in actuality didn’t have anything to do with the clients.
It all had to do with the agent’s change in posture and self-esteem. When she didn’t have a boss to answer to, she felt that there was somehow some truth in her clients’ expectation that she should be available all hours of the day (and night!).
She felt guilty, that she was somehow making excuses for not being available.
Sound familiar?
Fear also fueled this behavior. “Clients are not a dime a dozen”, said this agent, “and so it’s hard to tell people ‘No’ even when you know you need to do that.”
According to this agent, however, when you’re part-time and the clients come to you by referral, you don’t have to jump though hoops just to keep a client. “They are so much more respectful because they feel they know you’re good. They’re not trying to find out IF you’re good.”
The clients-by-referral advantage is a valid point, but the validity is true whether an agent is a part-time or full-time agent.
The moral of the story is: Know that if you do not honor your time, neither will anyone else. Make it your mission to be ‘the first example how the world’s suppose to love you.’
(And release the nonsense that being available to your clients 24/7 is some sort of competitive advantage!)
Tshombe,
This issue of boundaries is such an important one. I used to be that “drop everything” kind of biz owner. Years of meeting tense, unmovable writing deadlines in the grants world made me “Ultra-Responsive Woman.”
The interesting thing is that now, I’ll tell a potential new client, “I’m slammed right now, but I can start your project 3 weeks from today,” and more often than not, they’ll say, “Okay. I can wait.”
I think it shows 1) your confidence and 2) your worth (if you are that busy, you must be doing something right, right?)
Great insights here, Tshombe.
Judy Dunn´s last [type] ..Team Blogging- Will Hanging Around Smart People Raise Your IQ
Judy, It’s interesting how this idea gets ingrained from early on. For example, I was just talking to my mom on her birthday this Sunday and she reminded me of something I once told her that made an impact.
She was stressing about all these people who wanted her attention, and she’d dread having to answer the telephone every time it rang.
One day, I told her, “You know, Mom, you don’t have to answer the phone, if you don’t want to. They’ll leave a message, if it’s important.”
Sometimes it takes many years to really get that when we have specific boundaries, people respect us more than if we are running around all the time at their beck-and-call.
Additionally, when we respect our own time and energy (and illustrate to others by our own example that we so honor ourselves), we can show up more fully for them, too.
It’s actually a disservice to our clients (rather than somehow a competitive advantage) to be that “drop everything” kind of entrepreneur that you speak of.
I think, too, that there’s something that smells a bit like desperation when someone makes themselves available 24/7. It’s like Judy said: if you’re busy, that must mean you’re good (because other people are hiring you.) If you’re always available, that must mean you’re not busy. Which would raise flags for most potential customers.
And I know from hard earned experience (flashback to being on site at 3 am for a client many years ago) – that the kind of customers that actually take you up on your ridiculous offers are the demanding, draining ones you can never please.
So yes…here’s to strong boundaries.
Patty K´s last [type] ..Why I chase fear
I’ll chime in here in praise of good clear boundaries, and the hard won understanding that we are the only one who can make them for ourselves.
As someone with a home office, the boundaries also need to be with ME and work hours. If I work too much (don’t you love those deadlines?) and miss out on sleep, exercise, good food, and down time to recharge, I don’t have much to offer because I’m out of gas.
What I love about boundaries is that they are something I do for myself that says to ME, and the rest of the world, “I’m worth it.”
Barbara Breckenfeld´s last [type] ..Social media ABCs
So true,Patty K!
If you’re not 7-Eleven or an Interstate/Highway Rest Area, being “open” 24/7 will usually give you nothing but grief.
Barbara, you make such great points. Thank you for offering such insight.
By extension, you seem to be inferring that when we don’t set boundaries for ourselves (or dishonor them by not keeping them), we tell ourselves and the world we’re not worth it, that we don’t have or accord ourselves very much value.
Very powerful.