For the most part, few attend these events with a plan, except hoping to run into someone who will buy their products or services.  If this is their primary motivation, it must likewise be that of everyone else in the room. This presupposition is why networking events can feel uncomfortable and/or tense.

For example, I recently attended a networking event where most of the attendees were sales professionals.  I coach sales professionals (and am one myself), so it was a natural fit for me to be there.

Following the event, I sent great-to-meet-you emails to the few folks from whom I’d received business cards, suggesting that we meet again to explore how we might support one another.  Here is one of the emails I sent. (I’ve “X’d out” any information that might identify the person.)

Hi XXX,

Just a quick note to say that I enjoyed connecting with you briefly at the XXXXX on Friday.  I’m looking forward to seeing you at the next one.

What are you working on next, and where do you need support?  Perhaps I or someone in my network can help.

Have a great week,

Tshombe

I owe this beautiful approach to my friend Michael Peak of PeakMystique.com.  A few years ago, we met each other on Facebook and he asked me what I was working on and how he or someone in his network might help.

I love being a resource for people, so Michael’s proactive giving approach to our new relationship was very attractive to me.  I now incorporate this in my interactions with others.

Here’s the response to my email:

Hi Tshombe,

Great meeting you as well Friday. I really enjoyed myself and look forward to the next one.

I am currently working with a business coach, but I appreciate the offer.

Talk to you soon.

This was very interesting to me, because he translated “What are you working on next, and where do you need support?  Perhaps I or someone in my network can help” as me offering to sell him coaching.

I think the typical, old school way of networking has heavily informed what leads to presuppositions like these, where offers to help are assumed to be thinly-veiled selling propositions.

Now, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being interested in sales and selling.  I’m reminded of Arthur H. “Red” Motley’s quote: “Nothing happens until somebody sells something.”  We’re all in the business of generating sales.  Otherwise, we wouldn’t be in business.

However, the purpose of networking is not selling.

Networking is a marketing strategy, the impact (or purpose) of which is Outreach and Visibility.  C.J. Hayden’s great marketing program outlined in Get Clients Now! offers that “A broader view of networking is creating a pool of contacts from which you can draw clients, referrals, resources, ideas, and information.”

In other words, it is a narrow view to think of networking (and operate from that way of thinking) that networking is solely for the purpose of obtaining new clients.  In fact, I’d venture to say that an even broader, more expansive view of networking is for the purpose of ‘creating a pool of contacts from which you can connect others with clients, referrals, resources, ideas, and information.’

Can you feel the relief from that statement?  When you come from the place of “How can I support this other person in growing his or her business” rather than “How can I get this person to buy from me,” all pressure to perform or “be on” at networking events is diminished.  This is also helpful to those who may be naturally shy or tend to be wallflowers at networking events because the focus is on the other person.

Bob Burg offers a great question in his book, Endless Referrals, that you can ask people you meet at networking events:  ”How can I know if someone I’m speaking to is a good prospect for you?”

Of course, you want to have already connected with a new person and established some rapport with them prior to asking the question so it feels smooth and natural to both you and the other person.  It’s a wonderful way to illustrate your genuine interest in them, and it helps them help you to serve them in the best possible ways.

Can you think of other ways we can move from a culture of ‘what can I get’ to ‘what can I give,’ in terms of our approach to networking?

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Image:   Some rights reserved by NASA Goddard Photo and Video

Many of those same folks will also admit (if only in secret!) that their own networking efforts have not yielded the results they expected or hoped for.

I believe there are at least 6 reasons they are sabotaging their networking success.  Do you see yourself committing any of these networking sins?

1. They go to the wrong meetings (AKA “The Shotgun Approach” to Networking)
   There really are no “wrong” networking meetings; there are just those that are wrong for you.  Most people attend various groups without a rhyme or reason or plan.  Like a shotgun that messily scatters bullets everywhere, this approach to networking rests solely on chance and hope, rather than on a system.This is ineffective, time-consuming, and expensive.
2. They go to Speed Networking Events
   Speed Networking is all about Me, Me, Me, as everyone is trying as fast as they can to give their boring elevator speech (which in most cases is a complete waste of time, since people still don’t get what you do even after you’ve told them).  The problem is that your ideal prospect is also concerned about Me, Me, Me.  While they are repeating their elevator speech in their head over and over again to make sure they don’t mess up, they aren’t even listening to you tell yours.How many times have you come home with a handful of business cards of people you don’t even remember who they are?

   As far as I’m concerned, Speed Networking is like flushing your money down the toilet.

3. They confuse Networking Events with Referral or Leads Groups
   Leads groups generally are restricted to one representative from each business category, though this is not always the case.  There are variations on the format of their meetings, but for the most part, there primary reason for existence is for the purpose of passing referrals or leads.  In fact, it is a requirement of membership that everyone generate referrals for each other.

   Networking Events should be about starting and continuing a meaningful conversation.  Ideally, Referral Groups would be concerned with relationship-building, but normally this isn’t the upfront focus, whereas effective networking puts the building of a relationship front-and-center.

4. They don’t know how to introduce themselves and what they do in a compelling way
   How many times have you asked someone what they do and one of the following occurs:  (1) They finish talking and you still have absolutely no idea what they do or who they do it for; (2) You do have a sense of what they do, but they talk on and on and on while your eyes glaze over and you silently wonder how you are going to get away from them; (3) They do 15 different things.

   Any one of these scenarios is ineffective, at best, because it’s confusing.  A confused mind always says ‘No.’

   As for doing 15 different things, there’s nothing wrong with having multiple interests and ways you help people.  They problem is that no one believes anyone is an expert in everything.  An entrepreneur who is a one-stop shopping center is not a key differentiator.

5. They think they are supposed to be selling at the networking event
   Why put pressure on yourself and the people you interact with?  Networking is about initiating and continuing a value-based conversation, not about selling your product or service.  This should be the goal of all of your marketing efforts, of which networking is a subset.
6. They don’t follow up, or they don’t follow up enough (or even know how to follow up)
   This last one is pretty self-explanatory.  Without a specific system of follow-up in place, most people are probably not following up enough.  Follow-up should also be value-based.

When you correct these basic “networking sins” one-by-one, and nurture the contacts and relationships you make at networking events, you’ll see your efforts bear fruit faster and easier ever than before.

So, in which of these areas can you improve your networking skills, starting today?

I have to admit that when I first began using GoDaddy, the upselling was a little confusing. Now, however, I “get” the routine and even have come to expect it.

In fact, I have even made purchases based on their recommendations, very happy they had made the suggestion.

Not only does GoDaddy earn more money (if I make this additional purchase) than they otherwise would have had they not made the offer, it’s also an amazingly helpful way to offer me more value. This is because the suggestions are based on a very real potential need.

(Additionally, in all the cases I have noted, making the purchase right then would cost less than coming back to make the purchase later.)

I think of when I waited tables, and I frequently upsold my guests on simple things, like appetizers, salads, and desserts. If I was really on my game, I would have been “reading” and engaging my guests before and throughout their dining experience to determine the more relevant items to suggest.

For example, if they had just been out with the family on their boat, sailing on a hot, summer day, they might enjoy a tall, refreshing glass of our fresh squeezed lemonade or ice tea.

Or, maybe they are visiting from Alabama and might like to experience a taste of home: Our Signature Flaky Crust, hot-out-of-the-oven peach cobbler a la mode, made with organic handmade ice cream from a local ice creamery.

If you were my guest and none of the suggestions tickled your fancy, my guess is you wouldn’t be upset that I offered them to you.

But how good would you feel if it was exactly what you wanted?

What a great feeling that someone was paying attention to you, noticing your needs and wants, and offering you relevant solutions!

Our clients come to use for solutions to their challenges. When they complete whatever it is they purchased from us, they usually will not spontaneously ask what else they can buy from us.

This may happen, but it’s not a reliable sales strategy.

Instead, clients are looking to us to have their best interests at heart and to be thinking about ways we can further serve them. They already know and like us, and we’ve already earned their trust. What an inconvenience for them to have to go down the road, do research, ask their friends and colleagues, etc., in order to find what it is they need!

We may have a product or service offering that is just what they need. Or, we may know someone who can support them.

Either way, upselling is serving. It really is a good thing, because rather than withholding something you know can help them, you honor them by giving the suggestion.

Then they can decide whether to say Yay or Nay.

And, the more we appreciate that frame of reference when someone is upselling us, the more our own clients will be inclined to appreciate what it is we are upselling to them.

I was reading in Paul McCord’s Creating a Million-Dollar-a-Year Sales Income: Sales Success through Client Referrals.   It’s a compelling title because every business, whether in sales directly or not, would love to make a million dollar annual salary through referred business.

He illustrates that there are 2 main benefits to your clients when you work primarily with referred clients:

1. Because you do no have to spend as much time looking for new customers, you can better meet your client’s needs, and
2. You have more time to keep up with changes and innovations in your specific industry, which means you can serve your customers better by offering the most up-to-date solutions.

This is an enriched perspective on referrals, which are typically thought of as primarily benefiting the person receiving them. However, this view articulates the added value the client him- or herself receives, beyond simply the delivery of the product or service.

I don’t think I’ve run into any business or sales professional who doesn’t believe they mostly work on referral. Unfortunately, many of them cannot produce specific numbers to show that this is true. Nor do they have a clearly-defined process for receiving (and giving!) referrals, except what may be mandated by one of the formal networking groups out there, like BNI or LeTips.

As a point of entry, Paul McCord says that the professional who really does generate significant income from referrals needs to “be the part” by consistently educating and reminding clients the value they add to them by working primarily by referral. On page 65, he offers a checklist of basic business communications where, “as you change them to reflect your new referral-based business model,” you can check them off.

One of those communication channels is your office and cell phone messages. Paul McCord (page 59) offers a specific way to do this to reflect this additional value you offer your clients.

I’m duplicating the example here:

Hello, this is ____________ and today is (date); I’m either on the other line or meeting with a client. My clients and the referrals they send me are my most important assets, and I take great pride in my professionalism and their confidence in me. I’ll return your call today between ________ and ______ or ______ and ______. If you’re a new referred client, please leave your name, your number, the best time to return your call, and the name of the person who referred you. If you’re a client calling to refer someone, please leave his or her name and number and I’ll contact him or her today at one of the aforementioned times. Thank you.”

What do you think of this approach?

(photo credit: Mary Gaston, CC BY-SA 2.0)

I use “interview” loosely because Nancy actually gave away tons of content, expertise, and success tips anyone can use right away to give their boring bio a complete makeover.

As Magnetic Entrepreneurs, it’s our responsibility to make it easy for our perfect clients to recognize that we offer the perfect solution to
the challenges they are facing.

What if the bio on your web page or one-sheet handout or on your social media sites actually repelled rather than attracted clients,
opportunities, and the media?

What if this were the case and you don’t even know it?

It’s easy to recognize other people’s bios as boring (bankers, mortgage professionals, real estate agents, etc. all seem to vie for first place in the Boring Bio Department, I’m afraid); not so much when we’re looking at our own.

Nancy explains that your “clear, compelling, and concise biography . . . should reinforce your expertise, establish your credibility, and
serve as a powerful magnet to attract the right kinds of engagements to you and your company.”

Is this true for you?

Check out this before-and-after bio example on Nancy’s blog at http://BetterBio.notlong.com.

Can you see how the After-Bio packs a better punch?

I would like you, too, to finally banish your boring bios and create compelling one’s that showcase and sell you and your magnetic self!

People want to know with their very first impression that you are the answer to their prayers.

A winning bio can help.

So, go right now to http://SalesSuccessSeries.com/njuetten/reg.html to sign up to receive your copy of the replay recording.

When you listen to the recording, you’ll not only learn

• What’s wrong with your bio and how to fix it
• How to get celebrated in your own backyard . . . and beyond
• How to integrate ongoing publicity into your existing marketing for maximum impact
• How to get the publicity you deserve without breaking the bank (It actually costs very little)

you will also hear Nancy really showcase her expertise by workshopping two bios of two very different entrepreneurs (Angel Investor &
Serial Entrepreneur Alicia Castillo from Perth, Australia; and Risa Davis, a Real Estate Broker/Agent from Portland, Oregon, United States) live on the call.

The transformation in just those few minutes was amazing.  As Nancy describes it,  their bios went from “boring, bland, and boilerplate” to “memorable, remarkable, and really great.”

Here’s how an attendee to the live call described the Bio Makeovers:

Be sure to get your copy of the replay and listen right away, as Nancy announces several bonus gifts (one of which expires on March 31) at the end of the call, including opportunities to work one-on-one with her at special prices.

A winning bio is another magnetic tool in your publicity-and-marketing toolbox to help you attract your the clients, opportunities, and media attention you deserve.

Secondly, with the specific client in mind, you need to appeal to them in a way that engages the emotions (people nearly always buy based on emotions – how they perceive making the purchase will make them feel – especially high-ticket items, and later justify the purchase based on factual information) and compels them to see, feel, and experience what their life will be like to have what it is you are offering.

Good marketing (tailored to a specific market segment) is good marketing, and here is an excellent example:

You can check out the full story and the insightful comments below the video by clicking here.

This example, of course,  is of a higher-end real estate transaction opportunity which may or may not pertain to you, but how can you use the same principles (and technology) to engage the senses and the emotions of your audience?

Unfortunately, this simple concept is difficult for entrepreneurs to grasp. They are often found running around trying to be all things to all people, which ironically results in being nothing to no one.

I love the way Stacey Hall and Jan Brogniez use the metaphor of a Lighthouse (In their book Attracting Perfect Customers: The Power of Strategic Synchronicity) to really drive the point home about being a ‘guiding light’ to the (potential) clients who are perfect for you.

Here’s the scenario:

The calm water and blue skies have suddenly given way to rough waters and storm clouds. Boats are being tossed to-and-fro as the waves get rougher. In the harbor is a steadfast lighthouse, it’s beam guiding the way. Its light gets brighter and brighter the darker the skies become.

However, for various reasons, not all of the boats require the light of the lighthouse for guidance.  Perhaps their captains and crews are more confident or better equipped than others to deal with this storm.  Maybe they’ve been down this road before.  Or maybe they feel safer out at sea on their own.

“Now imagine that the lighthouse gets upset because some of the boats are choosing to follow their own path. The lighthouse feels that it is not successful if its light is not guiding all of the boats in the sea. It sprout arms and legs and runs up and down the beach acting like a searchlight, doing its best to catch the attention of all the boat captains, attempting to encourage more of them to depend on its light.”

What’s wrong with this picture?

Hall and Brogniez offer that this sort of behavior ultimately serves no one.  For one thing, the boats who actually need the steady light to guide their way now are put into a potentially dangerous situation, because of the lighthouse’s state of chaos and confusion.

“Other boats might be steered dangerously close to shore so those on board could get a better look at the spectacle (while) others would be perfectly content to stay where they are — out at sea, relying on their own navigational equipment.”

Can you see how refusing to focus only on your Ideal Clients is unfair to everyone involved?

It’s actually both dangerous and irresponsible.

Which kind of lighthouse are you?

Are you running up and down the shore frantically trying to serve anyone and everyone?

(“But my [insert your product or service] can help anyone!  Everyone is my client!”)

Or, are you steadfast and steady so that those who really want and need you can count on you to navigate them safely on their business journey?

Another colleague is in the medical field and expressed how much he hates having to sell a client on another visit or series of visits.

It’s a common challenge.  “Sell” is a dirty four-letter word to so many solopreneurs — especially to those who consider themselves “heart-centered” entrepreneurs.

I can understand that.

No one likes the feeling of being manipulated, hounded, chased or hunted down by a too-enthusiastic (to put it nicely) salesperson.

However, provided you have done the research and are connecting with someone who needs and wants your services, clients and prospective clients WANT you to offer them your services.

In fact, if you know your service or product is the best thing for them and you genuinely are interested in their well-being, you are doing them a disservice if you do not market to them and make appropriate offers.

That said, selling the person is really the very last thing you want to be thinking about anyway.  When you go out on a first date with someone, do you immediately ask them to marry you?

(I hope not!)

What is needed is a specific marketing plan, where your prospect sees your message over and over again until they are ready to buy, ready to refer someone to you who is ready to buy, or they tell you to stop marketing to them.

Another possible purpose behind a marketing plan might be to establish and maintain relationships with colleagues, persons with specific industry influence, and referral partners.

In most cases, sales professionals give up too soon.  They don’t have a follow-up system in place that they follow regularly and consistently.

This may be why my friend wondered whether he was bothering people.  Without a system, all efforts to market or follow-up are random, at best, and you really don’t know when and how often you are following up with someone.

Besides that, if you don’t follow up regularly with people who have shown interest, they may forget who you are or that you provide the service they are looking for when the time comes that they need it.

People have so many choices about where to spend their money, positioning yourself so that you occupy a prominent place in their minds requires actively and frequently reminding folks in your target market about how you can solve their challenges.

Gary Keller in his The Millionaire Real Estate Agent points out that over 86% of buyers and sellers (in 2002) met with only one or two real estate agents.  “In the battle for real estate consumer mind share, you’re either first or second or you’re out of contention.”

With most consumers pre-shopping for homes (or anything else, for that matter) on the Internet, I’d wager that this is even more important today.

In almost every industry (not just real estate), there are tens or hundreds or thousands of people who do what you do.  How are you standing out and differentiating yourself?

How often are you reminding qualified folks of that difference?

People want you to educate them and make life easier for them.  They are so busy with family, work, and other obligations that if you give up out of fear of looking like the proverbial “used car salesman”, they will have already forgotten about you.

This personal example I’m about to relate is a little embarrassing because it illustrates how disorganized I can be (and I bet I’m not alone in the disorganization department!), but I’ll share it anyway.

Just last week, I met with Portland, Oregon-based Corporate Shaman, Jacke Schroeder.  For the last several weeks prior to that, Jacke left me several messages via email, social media and phone before I finally got back to her weeks later.

(I told you it would be embarrassing.)

Was I uninterested in connecting with her?  Did I feel she was bothering me?

On the contrary, I let myself become so consumed with who-knows-what-all that I didn’t respond to her efforts to communicate with me.  Still she (thankfully) persisted.

After meeting with her last week, I now know that she and I will be working together in some capacity in the near future.  I’m kicking myself for letting so much time elapse.

What an incredible loss for both of us had Jacke decided she’d had enough of my silly antics!  I may never have called her back!

I imagine all those prospects you let slip through the cracks may have a similar story.  With SPAM filters, multiple inboxes, and having to check multiple voicemail messages, who’s to say your potential client even got your last message?

Of course, no professional wants to feel like they are wasting their time.  Certainly, if a prospect tells you they are not interested (like unsubscribes from your newsletter, for example), I don’t recommend stalking them!

Craig Klein of Sell, Sell, Sell! suggests that sales professionals get to fire their prospects after following up with them a certain number of times without a response.  He even offers a way to do this via a voicemail script (complete with a downloadable pdf tip sheet you can print out and place right at your phone when you’re doing the “firing”!) you can drop right at the end of your follow-up system.

This, of course, assumes you have a follow-up system in place in the first place.

It also assumes that the person you are spending time following up with is really a qualified candidate for your services and likely needs and wants what you have to offer.

If that’s the case, if you do change nothing else, follow up!  Show your prospects you care and are thinking about them.

Your perfect clients WANT to hear from you!

(How’s THAT for illustrating the spreading power of his own ideas?!)

As I mentioned on this blog a year ago, the thought leader in the realm of business, sales, and marketing that he is makes Seth Godin the proverbial E. F. Hutton of our day.

I’m not gonna lie:  That’s why I shamelessly offer Seth’s Random Rules here.

His blog is famously comment-free, but mine isn’t!  Let me know what you think about Seth’s Rules for Worthwhile Ideas That Spread.

Don’t we all want our ideas to spread?

Here’s what Seth Godin has to say (What say you?):

• You can name your idea anything you like, but a google-friendly name is always better than one that isn’t.
• Don’t plan on appearing on a reality show as the best way to launch your idea.
• Waiting for inspiration is another way of saying that you’re stalling. You don’t wait for inspiration, you command it to appear.
• Don’t poll your friends. It’s your art, not an election.
• Never pay a non-lawyer who promises to get you a patent.
• Avoid powerful people. Great ideas aren’t anointed, they spread through a groundswell of support.
• Spamming strangers doesn’t work. Spamming friends doesn’t work so well either, but it’s certainly better than spamming strangers.
• The hard part is finishing, so enjoy the starting part.
• Powerful organizations adore the status quo, so expect no help from them if your idea challenges the very thing they adore.
• Figure out how long your idea will take to spread, and multiply by 4.
• Be prepared for the Dip.
• Seek out apostles, not partners. People who benefit from spreading your idea, not people who need to own it.
• Keep your overhead low and don’t quit your day job until your idea can absorb your time.
• Think big. Bigger than that.
• Are you a serial idea-starting person? If so, what can you change to end that cycle? The goal is to be an idea-shipping person.
• Try not to confuse confidence with delusion.
• Prefer dry, useful but dull ideas to consumer-friendly ‘I would buy that’ sort of things. A lot less competition and a lot more upside in the long run.
• Pick a budget. Pick a ship date. Honor both. Don’t ignore either. No slippage, no overruns.
• Surround yourself with encouraging voices and incisive critics. It’s okay if they’re not the same people. Ignore both camps on occasion.
• Be grateful.
• Rise up to the opportunity, and do the idea justice.

What’s a coaching business without clients?

We needed to put as much emphasis on becoming masterful at marketing and sales (or more) as we were on becoming great coaches.

This is true whatever your profession or craft.

Yet, I encounter time and again entrepreneurs who love what they do (their skill or craft or professional) but dislike (even hate!) marketing and selling.

Today’s LA Times article “Finding clients:  Even great work doesn’t sell itself” illustrated this common sentiment expressed by Chad Takenaka.

Chad — who owns Design Models of California — considers himself “a craftsman, not a salesman,” and avoids marketing because “he views (it) as bothering people and (he) feels unprepared to do well. ”

Can you relate?

How long do you think a person can remain in business if they continue to believe they are bothering people when they market their products or services?

We entrepreneurs really have two professions:

1. Our craft or skill or profession, usually summed up by our title:  Financial Planner, Personal Banker, Real Estate Agent, Business Coach, etc.
2. Ou roles as Marketer and Salesperson

How can we release the belief that marketing is annoying to our prospects and potential customers?

Chad Takenaka’s consultant suggests considering calling potential clients as “a chance to solve a problem or to be a resource.”

Isn’t that great advice?

When you think of marketing your services as a way to serve others, it becomes more attractive, easier, and even fun.

If you were to regularly and proactively seek ways to solve your (potential) clients’ challenges and serve as a valuable resource to them, it would be highly unlikely they’d be annoyed with you!

Adds the consultant:

“(Chad) Takenaka says he is happy chatting about projects with clients, communicating constantly while on a job. If he can think of potential clients in the same light, he might find it easier to talk to them.”

So, what about you?

What is the very next thing you will do to market your products or services to prospects and potential clients who need what you have to offer?