How to get more referrals from friends and family
People do business with people they know, like and trust, right?
Then, why do most people seldom receive referrals from their friends and family? When was the last time your mother, brother, next-door neighbor or bowling buddy passed along a referral to you?
I just read an article some time ago about this very topic by Dr. Ivan Misner, a bestselling author and the founder of Business Networking International (BNI), which it the largest business networking organization in the world.
He hit the nail on the head when he pointed out that with family and friends, relationship grow out of personal associations, such that it may not even occur to them to refer business to you. It just doesn’t cross their mind — even if they know what you do — because their association with you, or the context in which they interact with you, is always personal, not business.
What is needed is a system, where we consciously train others how to refer. And train ourselves.
In Dr. Misner’s article, he refers to the reticular activating system (RAS). This is a portion of the brain that is thought to be the center of arousal (consciousness) and motivation, and responsible for helping us filter our world so that we can focus. We’re constantly bombarded by stimuli from all areas, and without RAS, this would be overwhelming.
When we actively teach our referral partners what to listen for in conversations with others (Misner offers the example of listening for the word “backache” in the case of a chiropractor), we help to activate their RAS so that they filter out all other noise.
Akin to the example in Dr. Misner’s article, I think of the game we used to play as kids riding in the car. Maybe you know it?
Remember Slug Bug?
Every time we saw a Volkswagen Beetle (Bug), we had to yell “Slug Bug!” It was amazing how many we spotted, when just moments before we started playing the game, there appear to be none in sight.
What was different?
It was the focus of our attention. The game registered the reticular activating system.
We likewise can increase the number and quality of our referrals from our friends and family by “training (y)our referral sources’ reticular activating systems to hear the things that are relevant to referrals.”
Suddenly, they see opportunities to refer you everywhere, where before their attention just was not on helping you find more qualified business.
This shows it’s not enough to simply tell people “I love referrals”. Instead, create a system that teaches everyone how you want to be referred and communicate with them regularly and consistently.
In this way, they’ll find it easier and more natural to refer potential clients and qualified leads to you.
