What story are you telling yourself about your life and business?
Yesterday afternoon, I had the pleasure of connecting over the phone with my good friend and very talented Business Cultivator, Karrie Kohlhaas of ThoughtShot Consulting in Seattle. She offered an valuable insight, suggesting that whatever (or whomever!) might be especially pissing us off in our life or in our business just might be a mirror, telling us something we need to clean up in ourselves.
It reminds me of a book club I belonged to a few years ago where we read Tom Spanbauer’s novel, The Man Who Fell in Love with the Moon. The author’s writing style has been compared with the likes of Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Jean Genet, William Burroughs, Tom Robbins, and John Irving.
It is indeed a gripping novel.
One thing that stuck out for me that I wanted to share with you is a pretty advanced concept — one that is often difficult to grasp or fully “get it” — but is absolutely crucial to our evolution as whole, inspired, joy-filled human beings.
. . . And especially so as entrepreneurs, since our level of success is tied so directly to how we respond to the feedback that comes our way every minute of every day.
I think it all boils down to personal responsibility for what is in our lives, and deliberately invoking our power to create what we want and deserve.
So, here’s the powerful quote; I would love to hear what you have to say and how this little snippet from the novel impacts you…..or even if/whether you agree with the statement.
The character speaking is Dellwood in response to Ida complaining about her lot in life:
“I tell you I’m tired of hearing it. There ain’t nothing that happens to a person that ain’t that person. The world out there only does what you tell it to do. The world is happening to you the way it is happening because you’re telling yourself the story that way. If you want to change the world so damn bad, Ida, then where you got to start is how it is you’re looking at it.”
What do you think of this worldview?
Does it work for you? Does it ring true to you?
How might you use it to improve the quality of your life and that of others, and of your business?
Excellent observation, Tshombe. I think for sure it is the way in which you react to what is happening to you that determines the path your life will take. I was born into circumstances that might suggest that I wouldn’t make it out of a hard scrabble logging town, wouldn’t make a good life for myself. But somewhere along the way, I had role models that showed me that I do have the power to “tell a different story.” We may not be able to control everything that happens but we CAN choose how we respond.
Such a simple, yet such a powerful idea you have presented us with. Now I need to go get Spanbauser’s book.
[Reply]
tshombe Reply:
June 10th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
@Judy,
Hi Judy,
Thank you so much for taking a minute to read and reply with a great personal example.
I think what gets people stuck at times is getting sucked into “Why do I always do this?” or “Now, I’ve done it” or “I can never do anything right” thinking. This puts us in a sort of victim mode, where it’s difficult to see that we have any personal agency.
I also think (hopefully!) well-meaning people (I’m thinking of the typical “motivational speaker,” at the moment) offer the “pulled-myself-up-from-my-bootstraps” American Dream story as an attempt to inspire personal responsibility. Instead, many are left with self-blame and guilt, which only serves to perpetuate a less-than-desirable situation.
That’s why I really appreciate that you honor those role models who came into your life and showed you your own power to “tell a different story.” No one is successful without the help and support of guides, mentors, and role models along the way.
And, sometimes we need the swift-kick-in-the-pants, tell-it-to-me-straight kind of support that the character in the novel offered.
Thanks again for adding so much to the conversation, Judy.
[Reply]