Why you keep repelling clients instead of attracting them
There’s a saying that goes something like “You can catch (i.e. attract) more bees (or is it flies?) with honey than with vinegar.”
I don’t know if that’s true or not, but it certainly is testable. All I’d need to do is put out a jar of honey and a jar of vinegar where bees (or flies) are likely to gather and simply wait to test the hypothesis.
Then, if I want to consistently catch flies (or bees), I’d give them what they are most attracted to, as evidenced from my findings.
What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?
Sadly, many entrepreneurs – including real estate agents – are working themselves to death offering their clients or prospective clients what they think they want or what they think is best for them rather than finding out what they really want.
Suppose flies prefer vinegar to honey? Or, only certain kinds of flies like certain kinds of vinegar (or, only certain kinds of honey, for that matter)? I can spread myself head-to-toe with gallons of the most premium grade honey, but sadly for me, I’ll still be left with disappointing results.
That’s why it’s so sad to see some Realtors busting their butt developing the wrong marketing materials, saying wrong things to clients or potential clients, and sharing or showing the wrong houses and wondering why no fish are biting.
They forgot to ask or find out the needs and desires of the client first. “The quieter you become, the more you can hear,” advised Baba Ram Dass.
This challenge – assuming we already now what motivates or attracts someone else – is not the sole domain of the entrepreneur. I was reading the Society for Human Resource Management’s (SHRM) 2007 Job Satisfaction Survey Report. This report is of special interest since job satisfaction is a major factor in retaining employees, especially top talent.
The survey asked human resource professionals what they considered to be the top aspects of job satisfaction. Separately, they asked employees themselves what they considered to be the top aspects contributing to job satisfaction. Unfortunately, there was a disconnect between what was actually important and motivating to employees and what HR professionals believed was important and motivating to them.
SHRM President, Susan Meisinger in the October 2007 issue of HR Magazine, comments on the survey, stating: “HR professionals’ responses suggest that their perceptions of employee satisfaction reflect traditional ‘HR thinking’ . . . they allow (the aspects most important to employees) to be overshadowed by issues that are not the most relevant to employees.”
Could you be inadvertently repelling your clients in some way rather than attracting them because you assume you already know what they like or what’s good for them?
You may be an expert in real estate and in your particular niche, but the client is always the expert on their own life, tastes, and preferences. The more you empower them, the more they’ll love you, and the more they’ll keep coming back for more of you and your energy – rather than being repelled by it.
And, the more they’ll refer you to others.
- – -
image by Eric Hart, used under a Creative Commons license
I’m not a realtor- and it sounds like good advice you’re offering. However, you’ve misinterpreted this saying.
The saying relates to someone’s attitude, i.e. you’ll make more friends / allies through a sweet disposition as opposed to acting sour. In other words, a negative attitude repels people – a positive attitude attracts them…
@JB,
Thank you for the comment.
Please elaborate on this, JB, as it’s unclear to me how I’ve misinterpreted the saying, or how your interpretation is substantially different that mine.
I suppose your interpretation is a general one. It is true that in general a “negative attitude repels people – a positive attitude attracts them…”.
It’s also true that relating to someone in a certain way, simply because we believe that is how they wish to be treated (even if we perceive we’re being positive) doesn’t guarantee that we will attract them.
Said another way, if the bee doesn’t like honey, expecting to attract it with honey (or what a person subjectively believes is a positive, sweet disposition) is wasted, unproductive effort.